If Bruce Lee drank this beer he'd be sad

The beer: Great Divide's Samuri

Selection made by: Robby

Reviews:

Ashleigh (the electric cougar):

Before I start, let me say, this is a rice beer.

Remember that video 2 Girls & 1 Cup? (If not google it, you'll be sorry.)

Well if you replace what was in the cup with Samurai, you'll have an even worse, more disgusting video. This is worse tasting swill than that hobo piss Ballantine. I mean this is horrendous. Good color? For rice beer? But just rancid skunk spooge.

Ohsweetlord the after taste – it was like licking a farmer's boot after an active day in the cow pasture.

I have to say I was really looking forward to this beer. I love most of Great Divide's stuff. There Porter, we reviewed a couple of weeks ago, is great. Their IPA is also outstanding. But they pissed the bed with this one.

1 out of 10.

And finally, to whoever gave this thing a gold medal, we need to talk. I'm now off to burn my taste buds.

www.greatdivide.com

Amy:
I really liked this beer a lot. Despite what electric cougar says, I personally think this beer is not only a-ok, but delicious. I thought it was amazingly light and refreshing. But, I only give it a 7 cause I was hoping it would improve my mixed martial arts skills, and I am unfortunately no closer to being a ninja than I was on Thursday.

Guiness Wants Its Beer Back

Beer:
Beamish

Chosen By:
Ashleigh

Reviews:

Robby

A very respectable stout. I would usually avoid a stout in a can, but Beamish + Can = Tasty. It probably would have been better out of a glass, but I still give it a 7 out of 10. Smooth going down with a bitter finish. Great beer for a cool evening.

Nick
I totally disagree with Robby—Beamish is anything but tasty. The town of Cork should stick to making redheads and potatoes, their beer tastes like the former regurgitated the later, re-consumed and then squatted over a pint glass. I give Beamish a 2.5 out of 10; I did get a buzz, I can say that.
Ashleigh

Broke protocol here and bought a 4-pack.

Never had Beamish before. Probably won't again.

Didn't care for it. Bland semi-thick backwater.

Fuck you Robby and your fancy glass drinking beers.

Not impressed. Not wasting more words on it.

Fail.

Rating, 4 out 10.

Jagermeisters Less Evil Brother

The Beer:
Stegmaier

Chosen by:
Ashleigh

Reviews:

Robby:
Gold Medal beer? Not by today’s standards. It's been nearly 100 years since this beer actually won a gold medal. Still not a bad beer, but nothing to write home about. I found the history of this beer more interesting than it's flavor. If history is not your thing, then stick with a cheaper alternative. PBR will do just fine. I give it a 4 out of 10.

Nick:
If you live in Wilkes-Barre—the question is why? If the answer is that they hand out free Stegmaier, then I understand. The drab label implies you’ll be drinking shitty beer from a shitty factory but don’t be fooled my friend, this beer deserves your investment. I give this refreshing hops explosion a 9 out of 10 for superb drinkability and cheapness.

Ashleigh:
Remember when you were a kid and you used to go over to your friend's house to hang out.

And your friend had an older brother, one who was in high school. Sure he'd teach you cool things like how to make sparkler bombs, sneak his girlfriend up to his room for an afternoon of Sun Chips and blow jobs, he even knew the trick for getting the scrambled channels to unscramble on the old school satellite dishes.

Sure he sounds cool but this is the same guy who would open the bathroom door on you in front of your friend's sister, fart in your pillowcase during sleepovers and use you for shot put practice.

That in a nutshell is Jagermeister. Cool at first but when you look back on it, why did you fool with him.

Stegmaier is like Jagermeister ONLY in the fact that their names come from some bizarre European country you'll probably never visit — but if you did, everything else would sound remarkable like these two names.

Stegmaier Gold Medal Beer is CHEAP. I bought a 6 pack of it for around 5 bucks, which is a good thing. It's also a good thing that I had only one of these because it went down like water and I had to drive home. This might have been the easiest drinking beer ever, (sorry Coors Light). I can see myself spending a summer afternoon plowing through several of these.

Before we go any further, I'm a huge PBR fan. Mainly because it's easy to drink, cheap, fairly tasty beer. And I have to say if I didn't have to drive 15 minutes instead of 2 to grab Stegmaier, PBR might have a new competitor.

Packaging complaint. Stegmaier could use a new printer and should print their labels at higher than 72 dpi. The picture above is blurry because the label was blurry. The images in the background of the label are MEGA blurry.

And finally you should visit their MAJORLY outdated website. It too is cheap and was probably put together by the current owner's first grader. (Stegmaier, if you need help with a redesign call us).

This is a good Old Man Beer. I give it an 8 out 10 – mainly because if you are looking to drink a lot, this stuff will do the job.

http://www.stegmaierbeer.com/

Yarrrr! We be lost at sea!

When it rains it pours.

2nd post of the day.

The Beer:
Loose Cannon

The Selector:
Nick

Ashleigh:
I've had this beer before. I enjoyed this beer before. I enjoyed it this time too.

It's hoppy but not in a bad way. It's got a very smooth aftertaste instead of the biting, back bite that comes with most hop heavy handed brews. (MORE ALLITERATION!)

I think some of the hoppiness of this beer is heeded by the slight fruit taste. Not a lot of fruit mind you, just that kind of "have I been in Grandma's preserve closet because I think I taste fruit or is that just funk."

I give this beer a 7 out of 10. Although I would say it's a two and done beer for me.

Nick:
I like it. It’s pricey, and the purple label looks dumb, but the beer is excellent. It advertises hops3 and that’s exactly what you’re in for. At 7.25% alcohol you get plenty of spin for your dollar. And if you admire a rich and succulent IPA then you’ll be truly at home with Clipper City Brewing Co.’s latest hop infested creation. I can’t tell you what the hell the designer was on, but I give this boastful brew an 8.5 out of 10 any day.

Robby:
????

Have we been drunk?

Sorry for the power being cut to the site. We got beer in our laptops and will be back up and running at full steam.

We'd like to welcome Nick as the newest beer reviewer. His first review appears on the appended version of the Mighty Arrow.

Hang on to your hats, we're about to tip a few back.

Hey Porter! Hey Porter!

Sorry this post is a little late, we got a little carried away with a new beer last week which prevented the posting of this beer. So without further adieu, here's a review of a very interesting little porter.

Beer: The Great Divide Brewing Company's Saint Bridget's Porter.

Chosen by: Robby

Reviews:

Robby:
I would just like to commend whoever designed this beer label. Never have I seen so much information crammed in such a small space look so pretty. Well done! As for the beer itself, not too bad. This is a good beer to start an evening off. Full of flavor and bite, but 2 or 3 would be my limit. I wouldn't say it's the best dark beer I ever had, but it's definitely worth trying. 7 out of 10 with label. 6 out of 10 without.

Keith:
HEY PORTER! Yes, as a drinker who doesn't take too kindly to dark beers, I actually will greet this one with a smile. Not too heavy or too robust, but has a good toasty flavor. Its a bit filling, not sure that I would drink more than 3 or 4 at once, but definitely a bit lighter than most dark brews. From Great Divide Brewery in Colorado, I've realized with this first taste of their beers that I'll definitely have to explore more of their line. Overall, I'd give it a 7 out of 10.

Ashleigh:
First sip was good, really good. Second through sixth sip were also really good. After that, I realized this is not a beer that should be contained in a bottle. The porter-ness of this beer was definitely on the bottom of the bottle. This porter deserves a glass.

So I have a hard time judging this one. I can't give it a ton of praise nor can I bombard it. I'll give it a 6 out of 10. Would have given it higher but the people at Great Divide need to inform their loyal drinkers to get up off the couch and walk their lazy asses to the kitchen for a chilled pint glass before they pour up one of these porters. Come on Great Divide.

Website: http://www.greatdivide.com/

Blazin'!

The Beer: Mighty Arrow

The Back Story: Due to this blog being based in a state where New Belgium brewery doesn't distribute, (WHY DEAR GAWD WHY?) we had to drive 4 hours to pick this up. We also managed to fill the back of a Jeep Liberty with more bottle and cans of Fat Tire than you'd see at a homeless person convention.

Beer Chosen By: Keith

The Reviews:

Keith:

This is a very good beer, yet another in the New Belgium line up that does not disappoint. Very close to Fat Tire but a bit lighter and quite a bit more hoppy. This is hoppy done right, not bitter in the slightest. This beer confirms that if I'm ever in Colorado again, a trip to Fort Collins is in order. I'll have to bring the camping gear though as I will be camping out in the New Belgium brewery for a bit. Don't think they'll mind, somehow I think a large bearded fellow drinking beer all day will fit in well there. Overall 9 out of 10. Yes its that good. And very rare so if you find some, get it!

Robby:

Great name. Great label. Great beer. Progressive brewery. This beer was a hoppy delight followed by a malty punch in the throat. Mighty Arrow seems to use Fat Tire as its base and builds upon it with Cascade hops and a hint of honey. This interesting combo produces an excellent brew. Highly recommended!

Ashleigh:

Sh*TFu*kDa#n!

This is a big step up from last week's hobo piss. This is a beer. This is America. This tastes like I'm drinking freedom, a star and stripe studded flag and a bald eagle at the same time. Seriously. This is a refreshing, hoppy beer. I'm not a hop head but New Belgium got it right with this one. I think the honey takes out the sting of the hops. This might be the first overtly hoppy beer I'm a HUGE fan of.

I will say it does have hints of Fat Tire to it & that's not a bad thing – I love the Tire.

This brewery can't do anything wrong except not distribute in this state. I give it a hard 9 out of 10. Only reason I won't give it a 10 is, its just a shade short of living up to its Fat Tire brother.

Nick:
Absent are the glow sticks, shirtless gay men and house music. But in every other way Mighty Arrow is like a really ballsy dance party in my mouth. As another ridiculously great addition to the brilliant brewing cannon of New Belgium it’s thirst quenching and yet I don’t want to drink it too fast for fear of missing the bright overtones and perfect effervescence. Plus, I’ve got to get all giddy about New Belgium’s hippie-chic bike rack having,hybrid driving, wind powered world headquarters. The perfect combination of great flavor and corporate conscience makes me feel like a dude that really like wants to help the environment and stuff.

New Belgium’s Mighty Arrow is easily one of my top five favorite beers, now if they would only start shipping to Kentucky…